...Sometimes I wonder...

I have to sit and wonder....

Something unfortunate has crossed my path. Unfortunate because it appears to be perfection. What do you do when perfection is right in front of you, but you know you can't touch it?

My job in England means the world to me. I worked hard for this opportunity, I put myself into the correct mindset - I am prepared to leave in August.

And then comes perfection. How do you walk away from perfeciton?

Damnit.

I talked to Eric the other night. He observed that I have never been content with "here." I was the type of person who would go off and do something like teach in a different country. "I wouldn't settle" he told me. He is correct.

And then along comes perfection. Or what appears to be perfection.

Whatever it is - it is causing quite a stir in my subcontious. And I'm happy with it. Stay tuned for more information.

Fields of Gold

Sting

You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we walk in the fields of gold

So she took her love
For to gaze awhile
Upon the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold

Will you stay with me, will you be my love
Among the fields of barley
We'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we lie in the fields of gold

See the west wind move like a lover so
Upon the fields of barley
Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth
Among the fields of gold
I never made promises lightly
And there have been some that I've broken
But I swear in the days still left
We'll walk in the fields of gold
We'll walk in the fields of gold

Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the fields of barley
See the children run as the sun goes down
Among the fields of gold
You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in the fields of gold
When we walked in the fields of gold
When we walked in the fields of gold




Lovely.

Humor in the way things pan out

I noted my May 6 post. I decided what I wanted, but what I have isn't exactly parallel to what I wanted. Oddly enough, I am not bothered by that. Instead, I am still experiencing the thrill of excitement.

I had a chat with the spiritual advisor - he immediatly located housing in my new town despite my many fruitless attempts. I suppose when you're good at something you're good at it. He is good at the whole housing thing, I'm good at asking his opinion on housing. It works out, right?

We are wrapping up the final 8 days of school. I am quite enthusiastic. I love Madison, I really do. But I am in desperate need of sleep. Summer means sleep...and the potentiall of getting almost-stabbed again. But I'm going to focus on sleep and the great company I will be in. Summer camp, Ho!

..::WHIRLWIND::..

My fingers are moving over the keys but I have no idea what to actually type. There is so much going on all at once - it's difficult to compelte a single thought.

Urinetown is officially completed. What a fabulous run. Not only is it a great show, but the cast was outstanding. The only thing to outshine the cast was the crew - those fabulous lights! And that wonderful stage direction. Caity and Steve gave me my own wrench on closing night -- I was so honored. My heros.

As for England I officially said "Wahoo" today. It's official. I can assure all friends and foes we will have plenty of time to play this summer.

I need to be on my way to contact Mark. If he is going to play the role as spiritual advisor he had better get started now. My first concern: Where am I going to live?

A turn.....

World Domination is certainly at it’s finest.

This interesting turn in events puts me on the brink of world domination. My emotions are a mix between pure excitement and complete shock. I have known for at least 24 hours, but this is my first moment to really sit and think. The constant work with Urinetown has me focused on “peeing for free” and “pigeons”…and neither of the two play a role in this new development.

Exactly 24 hours ago I received a call from Carly. I was offered a contract.

This girl is moving to England.

A change in Events

I must have been distracted this weekend.

Plans did not fall through today. But it is no matter - as they will.

I had emailed Carly at Bluewave at the end of the day Friday to tell her that I had a class at the time the school wanted to interview me. After I sent that email I found another teacher in the building to cover my class. Today I checked my email and learned that the school could not interview me today.

Dissapointment is a cruel emotion. It was a bit of anger mixed with a whole lot of bitterness. I was quite irritated with my current job - because if I had a break I might have been able to contact the agency earlier in the day.

The upside of the story is that I have the interiew on Wednesday at 9:00. I must learn to exercise patience. I still teach a class at that time, but this time I have at least learned that I should call in sick or get a substite through the office.

I believe I will take a half day on Wednesday. I don't want to risk anything - as this job means a great deal to me.

In other news, I made a new friend. He is a fireman and I'm pretty sure he is my new favorite person to talk to. I am currently working through my Planning period -- and I believe I should make some sub plans for Wednesday.

Urinetown opens this weekend - more updates on that later. Until then...Slan

Gratitude

At the beginning of the week I said "this is going to be the greatest week of my life."

Today is Friday. And my expectations were exceeded.

I recieved a call from Carly at Bluewave this morning at about 7:00. We had a chat about the current state of jobs in the UK - schools are just now finding out their need and starting to look for teachers. They usually start local and then look to Bluewave for others.

I learned that after a year I have to work on my QTS (Qualified teacher status) - observations and classes to ensure that my qualifications are parallel with UK qualifications. So that's a hurdle to jump after my first year teaching. I walked away feeling quite excited.

In detention I looked at my mobile and saw that I had a voicemail from a number I didn't recognize. It was Carly - the school I had sent an application to was VERY interested. I quote her email:


"I trust all is well. As stated on my rambled voice message King Edward VII are VERY interested in your application as a drama teacher and would like to have a chat with you on Monday 14th May at 9am your time if possible. Failing this Wednesday 16th May at 9am your time.
If you could please let me know ASAP if you are available so i am able to confirm with the school.
Speak soon!"

There were tears. My detention kids were like "Oh my God, are you OK?" I couldn't even do anything I was just so floored with excitement.

At the end of the day mom called and said that she just chatted with the Italian consulate - my passport is ready and just needs to be delivered. I have to mail them an express envelope to recieve it. Again - I was amazed.

I said that this week was going to be great - and it was. We really are in control - we think; it happens.

I am a firm believer in the Secret - if you believe it, it works. My proof? My happiness.

Hope > Fear

Hope is indeed greater than fear. Today I heard from the agency. There is a potential school. Oddly enough, it's exactly what I want. It is exactly where I want. And there are things around the town that I am looking for.

This is big. This is it.

Wanting, The Art of

Although I might have figured out what I wanted, I never bothered to actually look at what I want. I keep saying "I know what I want, I know what I want." But then I look at what I want and I have to laugh. What I want doesn't tell me anything! I need to narrow down my search -- Saying "I want a full time, permanent English Teaching Job in England" isn't specific at all. Because how many of those jobs are there? Craploads (especially when you are looking at TES every week and they say "You have 329 new job postings).

So, today I narrowed down that search. I am aiming for Essex. Not just anywhere in Essex. I am aiming for performing arts schools in Essex. I have a certain school in mind, so I am just going to smile and wish -- hopefully I will hear something very soon.

I have also figured out ways of shipping to the UK -- USPS actually has the best deals. I intend on shipping plenty - especially because buying some things there will just make the moving in process on heck of a lot more expensive. But kitchen stuff -- come on - Martha Stewart is at KMart for a fraction of the price. As for my quilt and my books....well, some things you just can't live without. Other things are just going to have to be purchased there -- IKEA is my new best friend.

I only have four more weeks left of school. I even interviewed for the open position this past week. It's exactly the job I want -- but I know if I take it I will never do what I want. I have to go now.

Urinetown remains well. The wall is partially finished. I am looking forward to spending the weekend in the rafters of the barn. I must upload my pictures so I can share this lovely work of art which I have created.

Status of World Domination: Waiting patiently

..:: IF ::..

Strange. That is the best word to describe recent events. Today I interviewed at my current school for the new opening. There are four of us applying that are already working there as long term subs. Don't drink the water - you get pregnant after just looking at the men. And trust me, I spent a good deal of time checking out the cute History teacher.

The reason I choose the word "strange" is because I already know that I am moving in August. It is the perfect job, but I can't take it - and I know that.

Armed with the advice of well respected comrades, I walked into my interview and played my greatest role yet -- me. 100% me. And I had fun -- fun -- in an interview. Of course, now the Principal and two vice principals want to visit my cass tomorrow - but hey, at least they do want to see me in action.

The good news? They are taking about three weeks to make a decision. Thank you, God. There's still time for England. Still hope.

Mark is playing the role of "spiritual advisor" -- or I suppose you might say "accomplice in world domination." I told him I knew the secret...he was intruiged, but he's going to have to figure out the secret on his own. I did point him in the correct direction though.

We discussed this poem in light of my quest for World Domination:

"If" Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!