I miss things the way they used to be. But then again, I can't tell if I miss things they way they were, or if I miss the way I used to feel. After spending the day half conscious, half staring at the computer screen, I found my mind drifting back to the old days.
I've been through so much over the years. Experienced so many different things, been to different places, took so many different paths. It's a good story. Who would have thought that their life makes for a good story?
There are exciting aspects, sad aspects. I play the good guy, I play the bad guy. I am incredibly stupid and I am pretty damn intelligent. Every decision I made has led me to where I am. Am I happy with that? I don't know.... Some days I am, and some days I'm not. Either way, I'm learning something. Learning about myself, learning about the world.
The next question is....what next?
I am not loving the idea of sitting stagnant, and I do not like the idea of remaining a drifter. I want to find a place for me.
I have this fuzzy idea of what I want. I suppose I need to narrow it down. Start making some clear decisions. There's a plan in tact.
Then again....last time I came up with an idea of what I wanted....well, I ended up on my own in England.
We shall see how this works out....
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