...::'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life trying to make ends meet::...
The only problem has been the actual leaving. I'm in love with my other half, but at the same time, I'm in love with my job. You can't choose your career over your other half. It just isn't right.
I've been torn between going and staying - weighing up all options. I have finally decided that I was going to make the move - and was genuinely excited for waking up with the man I love every morning. I had an interview, and after about 4 minutes, I decided I couldn't do it. It wasn't my school. It wasn't right. I made it clear during the interview that I couldn't take the job, and fortunately I wasn't offered the job.
It wasn't until I was driving home - crying my heart out - that I realised I couldn't leave. I wasn't ready to leave my school or my department or my friends. I've done this once, and it was hard - so much harder than I actually give myself credit for.
Today I walked into my classroom and I couldn't wipe that smile off of my face. Little things like the kids in my classes, their mannerisms, the way a student will hold the door open for you or say "Thanks, Miss." The brightness of the rooms, the smell, the smiling faces, the familiar faces. I can't do it.
I love my other half more than words can say - but I also love my job and my job makes me who I am. I am ready to lose myself.
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